i remembered that place.that smell.that face outside the window.i remembered feeling nervous and excited..
i remembered the face that i dread to see.tat smile that crumbles down my daydreams.
i remembered stepping outside from the room and seeing something that i dont wish to see at all.
for a moment i felt betrayed,angry.so pissed off.too pissed to even feel anything.

i wanted to let the inner rebel free. i wanted so much to punch,to inject ultimate pain to that subject.to see the satisfaction on my face when i take a blow on you.

....
the screeching feedback brought me back to reality.
and i realised it was just a raging thought.

if i could turn back time,i would have done every single thing that was playing on my mind a while ago.
i could see myself dashing out of the door,grabbing you by the neck and let your face taste my sweet knuckle.

i am deprived.
i am deprived of letting my full blown anger out.

and not that anyone is pissing me off right now but..i just felt that i regret not doing what i should have done at that point of time.

i let you off so easy..
and i dont deny that once in awhile the past haunts me and i could have done better than keeping quiet and jeprodising a friendship.

sigh..
i don't really know what im blabbering right now..but its just this burning hatred that i get once in awhile, it bothers me so bad.

i wish i could bump into you again. for some reason,i pray so hard to bump into you. though i cant take the blow on you but at least you'll see where i stand right now and for once this sadistic person inside me wants you to feel every inch of dread and misery that you should have felt and you should be feeling all these while.